After comments

what's your url for the the DVD, and im always open to suggestions.

I personally want a job, and use the making of a short to try and keep my sanity.

I was expecting the romance thing too, the ending felt a little "thrown together." But it's better than my first short which didnt even have a narrative.

The editing both visually and sonically needs some work. Theres a lot of unsettling jumps. I think this film could have been 10 minutes long and still told your story. You might try sticking in a few more close ups-the framing becomes a bit predictable. You've got a great camera-get the best out of it.

Oh and well done.

hi there,

For what its worth i didnt like it at all.
I agree with miker that it doesnt seem to have any point, or hook to pull you in.

I turned it off after a few minutes, as I found it really very uninteresting storywise, and I think thats what counts.

I didnt think it had much feeling, or 'soul'.

Technically it is excellent and I take my hat of to you and your patience at getting it made and finished. The editing is a little odd, and your choice of shots seemed inconsistent, but I kind of liked that quirkyness.

Ignore my opinions, simply well done on finishing it, and best of luck with the next.

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I turned it off after a few minutes, as I found it really very uninteresting storywise, and I think thats what counts.

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<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">WOW so a few mins' so you gave it a chance. it's 20mins long and you watch the first couple of mins. so how can you even comment. about the whole thing.

sounds like you spent more time typing your comment than watching.

Overall I liked the film, on the understanding that I knew it was your first (if that makes any sense). Also I think Counterstrike is a great game so I am biased.

I agree that people should at least watch the whole thing before making a constructive comment but that's by the by.

To be honest, I also agree with the others who mentioned the eratic cuts, some which were not needed and some shots (only in my opinion) were poorly/ lazily framed. I would also say that the actors could have done with alot more direction.

I really like the bit near the end were you cross faded between him and the game character.

As I said though, overall I think it's a great 1st effort smee and well done for sticking at it. [img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img]

On a different note, is it just me or do most people's first films have guns in them?

mine doesnt :b

my first short has computer in it which uses vegetables as capacitors for storing human matter and spirit.

You ask for opinions so I gave mine.
Its perfectly valid. I didnt consider it interesting enough to keep watching. Thats my critique. Sorry for being so blunt.
As I said its well made, but too much "adoration of tech" for me Im afraid. Live with it.

My first short didnt have a gun in it, it had a goblin being punched out by a young girl in a white dress, and it had a bunch of flowers and a pair of sunglasses.

My first short had a ninja girl, jaffa cakes, banjos, business men in african tribal masks, blocks of cheese, pickachu, brazilian goal celebrations, brad pitt, a television called Eullyses, a crazy girl in a bin, people talking into chilli peppers, cosmetic surgery-but no guns.